The Ring and the Rockets
by H. M. Lee
Summary: Sauron hires two criminals and a cat to steal the ring.
1. Chapter 1

**The Ring and the Rockets**

_(Author's note) In case you're curious, _The Lord of the Rings 2: Judgment Day_ is somewhat on hold while I work through some writer's block. I wrote this story in the mean time, and I'll publish the other two chapters over the next couple of weeks. I hope you enjoy, and please review!_

**Chapter 1**

Near darkness covered the pool outside the gates of Moria, save for what little light the stars gave and the single torch the fellowship carried as they made their way along the wall. They were eager to leave the open, but the little Gandalf had told them of Moria made more than one of them wish they were elsewhere. Frodo gazed across the water, and for a moment he thought he saw a ripple break the calm of the surface. The sight of it troubled him, but he wasn't sure why. _There are plenty of things to make ripples in pools_, he told himself. _Why should I be worried?_

He kept his head down and kept walking all the same.

…

Beneath the surface of the water, right under where the ripple had spread out, was a submarine that looked like a Magikarp. Perhaps it wasn't the most inconspicuous design for Middle-earth, but it was what it was. At the front, just above the unmoving eyes, a small periscope rose to the surface. Peering around in a circle, it stopped when it spied the fellowship.

Inside the submarine, Jessie looked into the periscope with one eye.

"There they are!" she announced. "Right on time!"

"Ooh, let me see!" said James, leaning over from his seat behind Jessie and pushing her out of the way. Grabbing the handles, he looked out at the group silently making their way along the water's edge.

"That's them all right! That one there must be-" he was interrupted as Jessie pushed him back into his seat.

"I can see that!" she said indignantly. "I'm sitting up front, so _I'll_ use the periscope!"

"Will you two stop fighting so we can figure out a plan?" said Meowth, seated behind the now-sullen James. "How are we going to get the ring?"

"Right, Meowth. When they get to the gate, we'll be waiting for them under the water. When they try to _open_ the gate, we'll burst out and surprise them! Before they can figure out what's going on, we'll already have the ring and be on our way back to Mordor!"

"Yes!" said James, perking up again. "And when Sauron has the ring, he'll give us a big raise, even a promotion!"

"And then he'll say, 'Well done Meowth! I knew I could count on you. You've done such a good job, I'm going to make you the top cat!'" declared Meowth. "Then I'll finally be number one again, not that stupid Persian!"

"Giovanni never thought we were good enough; but when we ace our first mission, Sauron will probably even put us in charge of all his orcs!" Jessie looked through the periscope again. "They're getting away; come on, let's follow them." After stowing the periscope, she began pumping the bicycle-style pedals beneath her seat while holding on to a pair of handlebars in front of her. James and Meowth did the same as the submarine began sliding through the water.

"Jessie," said James, "if we can afford to build an entire submarine, why couldn't we install a motor?"

"Shut up and pedal."

…

"Here it is," said Gandalf, "the west-gate of Moria."

The hobbits gazed in wonder as the wizard walked up to the bare wall and whispered glowing lines into existence, forming a closed doorway. The swirling designs shined like polished silver, yet they almost seemed to produce their own light.

"This is it?" asked Merry. "How do we open it?"

"It's quite simple," Gandalf replied. "These doors were sealed so that only a password could open them. We have only to speak the words, and-" He was cut of as a great splash from the lake showered them in water. Before any of them could see what was happening, white smoke poured out of the lake as a great light lit up their surroundings. Frodo covered his mouth and shied away from the commotion, but suddenly he could see two figures silhouetted in the smoke as music started playing.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

"To protect Middle-earth from devastation!"

"To unite all orcs within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of fellowships and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Hand over the ring or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth, that's right!"

With the smoke now cleared, the fellowship saw Team Rocket standing on top of their now-surfaced submarine, its glowing eyes now lighting the area. If the three of them were expecting a more vocal response, they must have been greatly disappointed; because the travelers simply stared in disbelief for a whole minute. Finally Jessie said, "Well, aren't you going to say something?"

It was Boromir who spoke first. "What new devilry is this?"

"We're not devilry, we're Team Rocket!" said Meowth, as if they were supposed to know what that meant (or why a cat was talking).

"And who is that?" asked Aragorn. "Are you some servants of the Dark Lord?"

"As a matter of fact, we are," said James. "And we're going to be the new employees of the month!"

Sam had no idea what to make of that, but he turned to Frodo and said, "They don't look like orcs. In fact, they look like elves with weird haircuts."

"And weirder hair colors," his master replied.

"Weird hair col-!" started Jessie indignantly, but she regained her composure. "Look, twerp, we're here for the ring, so hand it over and we can both be on our way."

"You shall not have the ring, servants of the Dark Power!" cried Gandalf. "Be gone, for you impede our quest!"

"…I suppose we should have expected this reaction," said James. "But that won't stop us from getting our promotion!" Reaching for his belt he pulled off a red and white ball. "Go, Koffing!"

Boromir raised his shield as James hurled the ball towards them, but instead of hitting them, the ball stopped in mid-air and opened into two halves. A bright light shot out of it, and coalesced into a sphere. The light faded to reveal a purple creature with holes all around it and a bizarre face on its front.

"Koffing, use smoke screen!"

The fellowship hacked and coughed as a cloud of smoke poured from the creature and surrounded them. Sam stumbled, trying to stay close to Frodo, wherever he was. Gandalf shouted some elvish words through his coughing, and the smoke began blowing away in a sudden wind. As the air cleared around him, Sam saw Meowth sneaking up towards Frodo, getting ready to pounce for the ring.

"You! Get away from him!" yelled the hobbit as he slashed at Meowth with his sword. Meowth was already surprised enough at the smoke blowing away, but when Sam's sword nicked him he went fleeing back to the submarine.

"Ow! He knows scratch attack!" he yelled, jumping back to the top of their vehicle.

"This isn't working James, try-AAH!" Jessie yelled in shock as a fireball from Gandalf's staff hit the trio.

"Some evil magic protects them!" shouted the wizard. "Even when flames engulf them it just lightly singes their hair and makes them look disheveled!"

"Who are you calling disheveled!?" shot back James, tendrils of smoke rising from him as he pulled out another pokéball. "Go-" he stopped as a great rumble sounded from beneath the waters.

"What was that?"

As if to answer his question, the water seethed as a dozen enormous tentacles shot upwards and wrapped themselves around the submarine. Team Rocket yelled in fright as they and the submarine were hoisted into the air.

"Where did they get a Tentacruel!?" yelled Meowth as the monster began crushing the submarine.

"I don't know, do something!"

Frodo huddled against the wall. The monster seemed to just be focused on the weird newcomers, but what would they do when it was finished with them?

Just as he was wondering, Gandalf yelled at everyone to follow him. Frodo looked over to see that he had managed to open the gate, and that the others were already bolting for safety. Sam pulled him ahead, but he needed no further encouragement as they both ducked inside.

"Hey, wait for us!" yelled Meowth as he fended off a tentacle that was trying to drag him into the water. The fellowship either ignored or didn't hear his plea as they disappeared into the dark doorway.

"Where do they think they're going?" demanded Jessie. "Can't they see we're in trouble?"

"Who cares, just send out all your Pokémon and-" James stopped as the submarine began sparking. "Oh great, now what?"

With a thunderous boom their once-proud submarine exploded, sending smoke and debris everywhere. The explosion destroyed the gate, leaving nothing more than a pile of rocks by the water. And as the monster fled back into the water, three figures and a purple sphere sailed away into the night sky.

"Wonderful," said Jessie, air rushing past her as they hurtled towards the horizon. "This all your fault, James!"

"Me? I'm the one who said we should have used a giant mechanical Beedrill!"

"What does it matter?" asked Meowth. "We didn't get the ring! What do we do now?"

"I suppose first we have to find them again, and who knows how long that will take?"

"There's one thing we're doing before that, though," said Jessie.

"What's that?"

"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"


	2. Chapter 2

**The Ring and the Rockets**

**Chapter 2**

"We _wants_ it!" hissed Gollum, sneaking along on all fours through the trees of Lothlórien. He had followed them a long ways, but soon the precious would be his again. "Curse them! We _hates_ them! They stole it from us!" Gollum shook his fist at a nearby tree, as if _it_ was the cause of his troubles. Glowering, he stared off into the forest. "Where is it? Where _is it_?"

…

"Where is it?" asked Jessie, peering through the binoculars.

"Down there, can't you see?" said James as he pointed down into the trees. The trio drifted along a few hundred feet up, carried by their trusty hot-air balloon. They both leaned over the rim of the gondola, Meowth next to them, holding himself up with both arms.

"James, all I see is trees," said Jessie. "Where was it before?"

"It was in that clearing over there, and it was going– there it is!"

Jessie trained the binoculars on the small field James pointed to, and she saw the spindly creature creeping across the grass. "I see it!" Her tone changed from triumph to confusion as she asked, "What is that thing?"

"Let me see!" said James as he grabbed the binoculars out of her hands. The creature had stopped, looking around and sniffing at its surroundings.

"I've never seen anything like it," he said. "It doesn't look like any kind of person. Could it be an animal?"

Meowth reached up and took the binoculars from him. "It's not an animal either. It seems too…" His thought was cut off when Jessie reached around James and took the binoculars back.

"What else could it be?" she asked, gazing down at the creature.

James grabbed them again, and Jessie, visibly annoyed at another interruption, was about to snatch them back when James cried, "Why, it must be a Pokémon!"

"No way!" she replied as she and Meowth grappled for the binoculars at the same time. She won the struggle and peered intently at their discovery as James and Meowth leaned over the edge, as if that would give them a closer view.

"It doesn't look like any Pokémon I've ever seen," said Meowth.

"But if we've never seen anything like it then…" Suddenly she gasped. "It's a Pokémon that's never been discovered before!"

Another tugging match ensued, James winning this one. "A new Pokémon!?" they cried in unison .

"This is great!" said Jessie. "If we can catch it, Sauron will be thrilled!"

"The ring _and_ a new Pokémon?" said Meowth. "If that doesn't get us a promotion, nothing will!"

"But what are we going to call it?" asked James. "If we discovered it, don't we get to name it?"

"Pokémon always say their names; we just have to get close enough to hear it." The balloon was now almost over the creature.

"Then let's get down there and catch it! The sooner we do, the sooner– hey, where's it going?" The Pokémon, which had been crawling along again, suddenly spun around and bolted in the direction it had come from.

"Don't just stand there," said Jessie, "follow it and-"

"_Leitho i phillin!_" came a cry from the trees below.

"…What was that?" asked James.

As if to answer, a dozen arrows shot up towards them and hit the balloon. The giant Meowth's head hissed and shrunk as a dozen leaks sent it spinning off into the distance. Team Rocket screamed as they crashed to the ground miles away.

…

Several weeks later, a partially-deflated, sagging balloon drifted over the Emin Muil. Its Meowth face, warped with a lack of hot air, was patched in a dozen places with scraps of cloth haphazardly sewn in. Every once in a while James had to turn on the burner simply to keep the remaining leakage from sending the balloon downward. Meowth took his turn at lookout, sweeping the binoculars back and forth across the barren rock.

"Are you sure they're around here?" asked Meowth. "We haven't seen them in days."

"Keep looking, Meowth," ordered Jessie. "We saw the two small ones go off this way, and they must have the ring with them." She gazed upward, frowning at their no-longer-so-trusty aircraft. "If you two hadn't been so slow repairing the balloon, we might've caught them by now."

"Don't blame me! Do you know how hard it is to get a tailor in these parts? The first one I managed to find just ran away, screaming something about a necromancer."

"Well it doesn't help that you-" Jessie was cut off by an exclamation from James.

"Look, I see something!"

Meowth swung the binoculars back around to see what James was pointing at. Off along a high rock wall, a crawling figure peered out from a crevice. Hopping out, it looked around suspiciously, swinging its head back and forth.

"Hey, isn't that…"

"It is!" cried Jessie. "It's that new Pokémon!" She grabbed the binoculars from Meowth.

"We need to get some more binoculars around here…" he muttered.

Jessie ignored him. "That's definitely it! Oh, what luck! Now we can catch it and–" She stopped as two other figures followed the Pokémon out of the fissure. "Wait a minute, who are they?" The Pokémon was motioning them along, seeming to lead them as they traversed a shelf along the hillside.

"Wha- It's that little twerp!"

"He stole our Pokémon!" cried James.

"Of all the nerve," said Meowth, "and right before we were about to snatch the ring, too!"

"Wait a minute," said Jessie, "don't you see? This is our lucky day! Now we can capture the ring _and_ the new Pokémon at the same time!"

"You're right! From loosing them both to both of them right where we want them! …But how are we going to do it?"

"Just listen closely…" Jessie pulled them close and began whispering, nods of agreement following her statements.

"Jessie, why are we whispering?" asked James. "No one can hear us up here."

"Haven't you ever heard of dramatic effect? Now shut up and listen…"

…

"See, hobbitses?" Gollum said with a tone that declared he was trying to please. "We leads them out of the rocks." He pointed to a narrow canyon in front of them, which lead out towards the marshes. Frodo and Sam looked warily over the side. A sliver of a stream trickled over the edge, dribbling down into the shadowed bottom.

"Now how are we supposed to get down there?" asked Sam.

"We got down the other one with rope, and we can do it again," his master replied.

"Hobbitses mustn't wait too long. They never knows what might come from the sky." Gollum peered upward, as if he expected something to drop down on top of them at any moment.

The sky _had_ cleared up a lot, Frodo noted. He was about to tell Sam to start getting the rope ready when a familiar music started playing.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

"To protect middle-earth from devastation!"

"To unite all orcs within our nation!"

"To denounce–"

"You again!?" said Sam, fists on his hips and facing the pair on the nearby ledge. "Wasn't bothering us once enough for you?"

"Ex_cuse_ me, we're not finished yet!" huffed Jessie. Clearing her throat, she continued.

"To denounce the evils of fellowships and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth, that's right!"

Gollum, who was staring in shock at the new arrivals, shrieked, "Elveses!"

"You know, Sam, that made even less sense than the first time," said Frodo.

"What do you want?" Sam asked them.

James pointed at Gollum. "That Elvzeez you have there is ours, so we'll be taking that along with the ring."

"We're not Elvzeez, precious!" protested Gollum. "_Gollum_!"

"It can talk like me?" said Meowth. "It's even more valuable than we thought!"

"We'll figure out what it's called later," said Jessie. She turned to Frodo. "Give us that Pokémon and the ring, or we'll be forced to take them from you!"

Frodo and Sam only stared in speechless confusion. Gollum hissed at the newcomers, not at all liking them or being called Elvzers or whatever they had called him.

"Well, it's not like we were expecting you to," said James, pulling a Pokéball from his belt. "Luckily we have a backup plan. Go, Victreebell!"

Sam whipped out his sword as James hurled the ball towards them. But as Frodo unsheathed his own sword, the light that shot out of the red-and-white object swirled around James. When it faded, a huge plant with eyes appeared to have swallowed his head and shoulders.

"Not me, you insufferable plant!" shouted a muffled voice as James tried to pry the Pokémon off.

"James, you're embarrassing us," said Jessie.

"Do you think I'm trying to!?" he replied as he at last managed to wrench himself free. "Get _them_! Use Acid!"

Victreebell complied, spraying a foul-looking purple liquid at the three travelers. Sam pulled Frodo out of the way, but Gollum was too slow for it, getting drenched.

"AH, IT BURNS US!" he cried.

"Now, James! Use the Pokéball!" ordered Jessie.

James was one step ahead of her, already heaving the ball at Gollum. The wiry creature was still wiping the goo from his eyes when the ball smacked him in the forehead. He screamed curses at them, but the ball simply flew back to James.

"Blast!" he said as he caught it again. "They must have used a Pokéball on it already."

Jessie glared at Gollum. "We'll have to do this the old-fashioned way. Meowth, use the net!"

"Got it," said the cat Pokémon, pulling out a small bazooka. Shouldering the weapon, he fired it at Gollum. Gollum had been trying to sneak away; but a square piece of net shot out of the bazooka, the four corners coming together to ensnare him.

"Ah, it freezes and bites! Take it off us!"

"Sorry, pal," said Meowth as he strode up to their prisoner. "Maybe you should get an Ice Heal for that."

"Meowth, you stay here. We're going for the other thing we came for…" said Jessie, smiling as she pulled out a Pokéball.

When Victreebell had shot acid at the trio, Sam had pulled Frodo behind a nearby boulder. Now they were huddled there, hurriedly whispering of escape. Sam wanted to leave Gollum behind, but Frodo was disagreeing.

"He's our guide, Sam. How do you expect to get across that swamp with no guide?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo, but he got himself in trouble. If we stick around they're liable to- AAH!" Sam screamed as a giant purple snake ensnared the two of them.

"Got you!" yelled Jessie triumphantly, as Ekans dragged the pair out of hiding.

"Thought you could hide from us, hmm?" asked James. "Now where is it?"

"Get your hands off him!" yelled Sam as James started pulling the ring on its chain from Frodo's neck. But with the two of them sandwiched together and their arms pinned by the snake, there was little he could do but struggle in frustration.

A moment earlier, Gollum had been hissing like a kettle. "Elves twisted it, fierce elves with bright eyes!" he said as he clawed fruitlessly at the net. "It hurts us! Take it off us!"

"Come on, you're starting to sound like a broken record," said Meowth as he held the closed end of the net. "Say, what moves do you know?"

"What is moves, precious?"

"You know, attacks." He looked Gollum over. "You look kinda like a fighting type. Do you know Seismic Toss?"

"No."

"What about Mach Punch?"

"Why does it mocks us?"

"Try using Double Slap!

Gollum only squealed and clawed at the web of rope. Meowth winced and covered his ears. "At least it know Screech…" he muttered.

Gollum was now sitting up as much as he could, and looked over at the others by the boulder. "What are they doing?"

"Don't worry that, they'll be done soon," Meowth replied.

"They hurts master!"

"They're not hurting them, they're just taking the ring so we can get going."

As if he only now understood, Gollum stared in shock at James removing the ring from Frodo's neck. "They takes… MY PRECIOUS!" With a sudden rage, he ripped holes in the net for his limbs and took off towards the four of them. Meowth, still holding on to the closed end of the net, was pulled along in mid-air.

James was trying to figure out how to unclasp the chain when he heard Meowth scream, "JAMES!"

"Not now!" he replied, and turned to look behind him. "Can't you see I– AUGH!" He let go of the necklace and threw his hands up in defense as Gollum leapt for his throat. The two of them and Meowth fell in a heap against the rock wall; and Ekans, jostled by the collision, let go of the two hobbits.

"Quick Mr. Frodo, this way!" Sam pulled his master to the edge of the cliff, where he yanked out his rope and began tying it to a stone. Frodo felt for the ring, and breathed a sigh of relief as he found it still around his neck.

"GET IT OFF ME!" screamed James as he and Gollum wrestled each other. Meowth was trying to pry off the attacker, but only managed to get himself scratched by Gollum's swinging hands.

Jessie looked up from the commotion and saw the hobbits begin to rappel into the canyon. "James, they're getting away! Stop fooling around!"

Growling in annoyance, James pulled out another Pokéball and sent out Koffing, and yelled at it to use Smoke Screen. The purple Pokémon began to emit smoke, but Gollum had noticed it as soon as it came out. Grabbing it with both hands, he hurled it against the rocks, where it fell to the ground dazed. James struggled to his feet, telling Koffing to attack again, when he saw that his Pokémon was glowing white, a strange look on its face. "What's it doing?" he asked.

Gollum, who by now had thrown off the torn and ragged net, sensed that something was amiss, and ran to the cliff, where he scrambled down to Frodo and Sam. Team Rocket was still distracted with trying to figure what was wrong with Koffing.

"What's going on?" demanded Jessie.

"It's confused," said Meowth; but as Koffing started smoking, he yelled, "And it's using Self Destruct!"

"Self Destruct!?" yelled James. "When did it learn Self Destruct!?"

No one had time to answer his question, because Koffing exploded, sending them all skyward. The Pokémon's eyes were replaced with swirls as it, Victreebell, Ekans, and the others flew off into the distance.

"Meowth, why didn't you hold the Pokémon better?" demanded James. "I would have the ring right now if you hadn't messed up!"

"Why are you blaming me? That Pokémon lied about not knowing Rage!"

"We tried to do too much," said Jessie. "Next time we'll focus on just getting the ring, and worry about that Pokémon later."

"That's right," said James. "We'll follow those twerps as far as we have to, and _this_ time we won't fail. But for now…"

"TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"


	3. Chapter 3: The Finale

**The Ring and the Rockets**

**Chapter 3**

The hot wind blasted past Sam's face, embers sticking to his clothes. He had long ago stopped smelling that burnt smell, his mind filtering it out like most of what smelled in Mordor. Off to his left a fresh lava flow oozed down the mountain. Was the Crack of Doom full of that stuff? Sam squinted ahead once again. He could see the glow from the doorway straight ahead, and he thought he could see a small figure silhouetted against the orange light. Frodo.

Gollum's attack had come as a surprise, but he should have expected it. One minute he was carrying his master up Mount Doom, and the next he was fending off the foul creature with Sting. Why Frodo had ever trusted that wretch was beyond him; but where was Gollum now, Sam wondered? He had run off whimpering from his fresh sword wound, but no doubt he–

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

"To protect Middle-earth from devastation!"

"To unite all orcs within our–" James looked up. "Hey, where's he going?"

"That little brat, he's just ignoring us!"

"How rude! We didn't even get to finish our motto!"

"Will you two forget the motto?" said Meowth. "Follow him!"

The trio jumped back down from their perch and ran a little ways down the slope. A moment later a giant Magnemite rose from its hiding place behind an outcropping. Where there should have been a screw on the top there was a helicopter blade, stirring up dust as it whirred up the mountain. From a camera in the center of the eye, Team Rocket looked out at the slopes on a view screen.

"This is what we should have done all along!" said Jessie, standing proudly as James manned the controls. "All the weeks it took to make this thing were worth it!"

"We'd better get the ring _this_ time," said Meowth. "Sauron didn't sound all that happy about letting us use up all this steel."

"Once we hand him the ring, he won't care," declared James. "And finally all these months of effort will pay off!"

On the view screen, Sam was running towards the doorway when he looked back. Team Rocket snickered at the expression on his face when he saw their contraption.

"Now use the magnets!" said Jessie. James pushed a red button on the control panel, and the giant magnets on the sides of the Magnemite swiveled forward. With another button pressed the magnets began to hum.

Sam dashed up the mountain even faster than before. The thing flying behind him was probably Team Rocket, but where did they get something like that? And what was it? The sights of the lands outside the Shire never failed to amaze him.

When he was just beginning to wonder what that humming noise was, his sword started pulling away from him. He held on with both hands; but he was being dragged backwards, sliding downhill towards the thing. With an exasperated grunt he let go; and Sting flew up to the left magnet, sticking to it with a clang. Sam turned around and ran into the doorway. He had to make sure they destroyed the ring before Team Rocket ruined everything.

"Dang it! He didn't have the ring; and the other one made it inside!" Jessie hit the control panel in frustration.

"Well, lets not just sit here," said Meowth, " follow him inside!"

"But the door's too small," replied James.

"Then fly into the crater from above."

"Oh, right!" James pulled the control stick up; and the Magnemite rose into the sky, making for the mountain's fiery peak.

"Jessie," he said, "are you _sure_ we shouldn't have told Sauron that those two were going to destroy the ring?"

"And let some Nazgûl get here first and get the reward instead of us? Of course not! What Sauron doesn't know won't hurt him."

"But what if they _do_ destroy the ring? He'll be furious."

"But they're not going to. Because this time we can't fail…"

…

His vision blurred, Sam looked up from where he lay face-first in the dirt. What had happened? He couldn't remember much. Something had knocked him over the head, and his whole body felt it. Wincing as pain shot down his neck, he squinted at the sight in front of him. As if in some distant fog, Frodo laid a ways in front of him. He was clutching his hand, as if in great pain. Sam ached to see his master like that, but his eyes were drawn to the figure farther ahead: Gollum.

On the precipice stretching over the great fires below, Gollum was holding up something. It was small, too small to be seen in Sam's state; but he knew what it was. Gollum began leaping around in joy, shrieking with delight, loud enough to be heard even over the constant roar of the volcano.

But suddenly Gollum stopped. The ring began rising into the sky, and he yelled in fright as he gripped it. Whatever mysterious force pulled it yanked even harder; and before he could get a hold on it, it ripped out of his grasp. He screeched in dismay as it flew upwards and was caught by the giant Magnetite's magnet.

"Nooooooo!" he screamed as a voice came on over a loudspeaker.

"Yes, it's ours at last!" announced Jessie triumphantly. "It took us three tries, but we've won!"

Sam stared up in dismay. Ahead of him, Frodo was standing, growling–growling!–at Team Rocket's contraption. The events that had just transpired were coming back to Sam, but it was no good. Team Rocket had the ring! And how could they ever get it back from up there?

"You may be wondering how you're ever going to get the ring back from up here, and the answer is you're _not_!" said Jessie. "At last your pathetic attempts at resisting the glory that is Team Rocket have been crushed!"

"Jessie," said James over the loudspeaker, "what's the point of this sound system?"

"So we can gloat, of course!"

"But how will that help us?"

"It's what villains do. Try it!"

"Um, ok…" Clearing his throat, James declared, "You're a bunch of Slowpoke-brained poopy heads!" Then in a quieter voice, he added, "Ooh, I like it!"

Sam groaned. They had come so far, only to be defeated like this? All he could do was watch and listen as Team Rocket droned on.

"…and remember, I'm the top cat around here!"

"We know, Meowth, we know."

Jessie spoke next. "Well, now that you have been thoroughly defeated and demoralized, we're getting out of here! James, take us away!"

The magnets returned to their idle position, and the helicopter blades beat the air as the great machine began making its escape. Gollum waved his fists in anger; and in spite, he grabbed a nearby stone and hurled it at the machine, yelling curses all the while.

As it just so happened, the escape came to an abrupt halt, because the stone hit the Magnemite right in its eye-camera. The lens cracked and the camera smoked, and the figures on the precipice listened in amazement as Team Rocket's voices boomed through the caldera once again.

"Hey, what just happened?" asked James as the Magnemite came to a halt. "The screen's black!"

"Then fix it!" Jessie replied.

"I can't, something must be wrong with the camera!"

"You don't need the camera to fly, get us out of here!"

"Right! …but which way is up?"

"It's that way!" The Magnemite began to lurch around.

"Careful, you're going to make us crash!" she shouted at James.

"I am being careful!" The flying contraption began spinning wildly.

"What are you doing!? Give the controls to someone who knows how to fly!"

"Hey, stop it! I have the controls!"

"You two stop fighting and get us out of this spin!"

"Shut up, Meowth!" Now the Magnemite was flying out of control around the crater.

"Pull up!" yelled Meowth as the Magnemite spun towards the precipice.

"AAH, THAT'S NOT UP!" he screamed as their machine flipped upside-down and crashed into the wall above the entrance. The giant vehicle sparked and smoked as the hull crumpled, pieces falling away into the lava below. The electromagnets that held the ring deactivated, and it bounced off the wall and fell to the walkway. Gollum lunged for it, but Frodo got his hands on it first. The two of them started their fight anew; but this time Sam joined in, trying to wrench it away and into the fires. While they fought, Team Rocket leapt out of an escape hatch as the remains of their machine rolled off the walkway and into the depths. The three of them just barely managed to grab onto the ledge and hoist themselves up.

"Some pilot you turned out to be!" Jessie huffed at James, brushing herself off.

"A pilot's job is much easier if the other passengers don't try to grab the controls while he's flying!" he shot back.

"If you hadn't flown so bad, I wouldn't have had to!"

"If _you_ hadn't–"

Meowth gave them both a scratch on the arm. Now that he had their attention, he directed their focus to the fight taking place thirty feet away.

"This is our last chance," he said. "Let's take it, for Team Rocket!"

"You're right!"

"Let's do it!"

The two of them threw their Pokéballs as Jessie yelled, "Charge!"

"Mmmph!" replied James inside Victreebell.

Sam received Gollum's foot in his face, and fell backwards. With a mighty heave Gollum ripped the ring from Frodo's hands, leaping up to put it on. But Koffing crashed into him, and the ring flew into James' waiting hands. He shook off Frodo's lunge, but he stumbled over Ekans and went sprawling. Frodo, Sam, and Gollum dove for the dropped ring like it was a fumbled football, but Meowth snatched it up before they could claim it.

"I got it!" he yelled. Then Gollum leapt over Frodo and Sam, diving for him and knocking the ring away. "Now I don't!"

Victreebell's vines stretched forward to catch the ring, and as it slid onto one of them, the Pokémon disappeared. Jessie had been following Victreebell, but when it turned invisible she tripped over it in confusion. Gollum managed to grab one of the vines and rip the ring off, and he fled backwards when the others rushed him for it. The battle ran right up to the end of the walkway. Frodo and Sam got tripped up and fell short as Gollum played keep-away with Team Rocket. As the four of them scrambled for the ring, Sam saw his chance.

Pushing Frodo back to keep him out of the fray, he ran into the pileup by the edge. James had just wrested the ring from Gollum when Sam tackled him from behind. The jolt made James let go of the ring, and Gollum pushed off from the group as his precious sailed into the open. Grabbing it with both hands, he cried out in delight; until he realized he was falling. There was no ground under him: only empty space with lava at the bottom. He gave one last shout of "Precious!" before the fires consumed him.

Sam's push also sent Team Rocket over the edge. Only now did Frodo seem to regain his senses, and he and Sam ran for the exit as the mountain roared.

Over the edge, Victreebell was just barely grasping the ledge with its vines. Hanging from its main body was James and Jessie, with Meowth clinging to the former's legs. Ekans was hanging off a rock by its teeth; and Koffing was just floating nearby, not really sure what to do.

"James!" yelled Jessie, fear clouding her normally-confident voice. "Do something!"

"Victreebell, pull us up!" shouted James, but his Pokémon was visibly straining simply to keep its hold, much less pull anyone up.

"What are we going to do?" asked Meowth.

"I don't know!" said Jessie. "Can Koffing pull us up?"

"He's a Pokémon, not a crane!" responded James.

"I'm getting out of here, then!" Meowth began climbing up Jessie, and grabbed on to Victreebell's vine like a rope.

"Don't just leave us here!" said Jessie.

"I'll find help! What else am I supposed to do? You're not coming up with any good ideas."

"Where are you going to find help in a volcano? The Mount Doom Fire Department?"

Their conversation was interrupted as the volcano rumbled beneath them.

"What was that?" asked James.

"Do you have to keep asking that question?" said Meowth. "Bad stuff happens when you ask that question."

And with that, Mount Doom erupted.

…

Sam half-pulled Frodo out the exit, though he himself was tired enough to faint. His master seemed as weary as him; but when Sam looked at Frodo he saw him doing something he hadn't done in a long time. Frodo was smiling.

"It's over," he said.

"Yes, Mister Frodo, it's over. It's over…"

Mount Doom erupted behind them, sending lava spewing out its top. From cracks in the side streams of molten rock poured out, and Sam hurried his master to shelter on a high rock. As he climbed up the side, he thought he saw three tiny figures fly from the mountain's peak; but it was only for a moment, and afterwards he couldn't be sure.

…

Hair singed and looking disheveled, Team Rocket sailed off into the dark Mordor sky. The constant cloud cover was already dissipating, and below them they could see the destruction spreading all over the Dark Land. Meowth thought he could see Barad-dûr far away, its great flame-eye winking out as it collapsed into rubble. Fissures spread out across the charred landscape as the wind rushed past the trio. Looking up again at his two companions, the cat sunk his head dejectedly.

"We failed. The ring is gone!"

"What do we do now?" asked James. "Sauron is destroyed. Where will we find work?"

"At least he isn't alive to be angry with us," said Jessie.

"A lot of good that does us!" said Meowth. "If we had just completed this one mission, we would've had it made! Promotions and raises, and probably a good pension, too." His face drooped. "And now it's all gone. I'll never be top cat…"

James was silent for a moment, but then he said, "Sure we failed, but has that ever stopped us? Team Rocket's never just given up before, and we won't now!"

Jessie smiled. "That's the spirit, James! We'll keep extending our reach to the stars above! And someday… _someday_ we'll get promoted by someone!"

"You're right," said Meowth, smiling again. "In the end, it doesn't matter if we flopped; because through thick and thin, we'll always stick together! But for now, it looks like…"

"It looks like…" echoed Jessie.

"It looks like…" echoed James as the trio twinkled on the horizon.

"TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"

**The End**

_(Author's note) I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it!_


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